Lost
by caskettshipper3
Summary: Richard Castle has no one. No one except his month old child and he has no idea what he's doing. His career is suffering. His thoughts are bordering on insanity and he needs something, someone to come help. One fateful night in the infant of a convenience store, his life changes
1. Stores & Stories

**_This wrote a lot of this fic and finally had the courage to post._**

**_Hope you like it._**

**_PROLOGUE_**

**_Enjoy._**

* * *

This little baby.

He has this little baby in his hands, this little tiny person that's relying on him and he hasn't the slightest clue what to do. There's no one to reach out to. No one to hand her off to and he's scared out of his mind. Has no clue how any of this works or how he's supposed to handle this on his own.

He's in one of the billions of infant isles in this city and he's found nothing. Nothing to make her quiet. He hasn't been to the doctor, but he's thinking she's becoming colicky. He can't help it. He wishes that he could save his little blue eyed angel from whatever is troubling her, but everything he tries is failing him.

The diapers are too big, the food isn't good enough, the toys are too loud, but for Christ's sake, he's never done this before and he can't tell Luvs from Huggies right about now. So he's standing here. She's still crying as he rocks her and people pass buy giving him looks, some sympathetic and some annoyed, yet no one cares enough to ask.

The shelves are beginning to run together because he's seen all of this before and none of it helps. None of it silence his little bundle of joy and he wishes he knew what could, but he doesn't because, again, he has no clue what he's doing.

He reaches for a container that almost stopped her cries last time. Maybe it'll work now that she's two weeks older. He grabs it, but his tired eyes make him miss it and knock down a couple items. They clatter loudly to the floor and his red head ray of light is startled into silence before she wails out again.

"Shit." He mutters and goes to pick up the stuff. He almost drops his child in the process, causing her volume to increase and it hits him like a brick. He'll never be able to do this. He forgets the things that have fallen and scoots back, leaning against the shelf and cradling his baby. Anyone who sees him now probably thinks he's a basket case, but he could care less right now. He just wants to help his little girl and he doesn't know how. That makes him hate himself all the more.

"Excuse me."

He peers up at the voice and it's as if God has decided to spare him and send him an angel. Okay, maybe not, but the fluorescent lights give her a heavenly glow and that's enough for him. His blue eyes meet the woman's and her hazel eyes along with pearly white teeth greet him sympathetically. Just the friendly composure of her makes him want to cry into her shoulder. but he can't. He has a daughter now and he must pull himself together and stay composed for her.

"May I?" Her hands are outstretched for his daughter and he may not be the best parent, but he knows not to give his daughter to some stranger. Yet, her warm appearance draws him in and honestly, if this woman can help his little girl, he's all for it. He reluctantly hands her over to the woman who is now sat next to him on the floor. Okay, so at least she isn't going to run with his child.

He watches as the woman wipes his babies tears with her hands that appear strong, yet soft. Her voice warms him as she lulls his girl asleep with a lullaby he's never heard before. And for the first time his ears are met with one of the best things in the world.

Silence.

He peers over at the mysterious woman who has now become his hero and his child rests safely in her arms sleeping soundly and he wants to thank this woman. Wants to praise, pay her. Hell, he wants to marry her. She has brought his baby peace and he doesn't think he will ever be able to repay her.

"How- How did you- huh?"

"My mom used to sing that song to me when I was fussy."

"I tried singing to her."

"Well, I doubt your a horrible singer, but the breast may help." She jokes and he cracks a smile for the first time in weeks. "First kid?"

"That obvious?" She laughs and it's some other worldly sound that brings his heart a warm sensation and he wants it to stay forever. Wants her to stay forever. "You have?"

"Oh, no. No kids. My profession doesn't exactly allow it."

He's intrigued. "Really? What do you do?"

"Homicide cop."

Wow. "Wow."

She laughs, and there goes that warm feeling again. "Yeah, it's not ideal for a family life, but it's where my heart is so." She shrugs and he's sure there's more to it than that, but she's shared enough, so he's fine. For now. "Well, I should probably go."

"No." He says enthused because they need her. He doesn't know her name. barely knows her life, but she can't abandon them now. They both need her, in every sense.

"It's late. I've got to get some sleep. I start my first day of being a Detective tomorrow." He sees her excitement and he doesn't want to keep her, but he actually does. So he comes up with a plan. It's probably horrible and weird and she's going to pepper spray him, but he has to try.

"Stay with me. At my place. Stay with us."

"Uh, I don't know you." She begins to back away and no he needs her. They still need her.

"No, wait." He takes a deep breath and he's going to have to be blunt. No punches pulled. "Look, I'm not going to force you to do anything. We just met and neither me nor her," he nods at his child who still rests in her arms "is your responsibility, but we have no one. No one to do what you just did and I have this little baby and I am way out of my league here. I'm in over my head, but I have no choice. This is the first time in two weeks that I've smiled. First time in three weeks that she's slept past five minutes and I can't," he's beginning to cry and no, he's not trying to guilt trip her, but it feels god to get this out. "I can't do that to her. If you won't do it for me, do it for her."

She looks into his eyes, then at his daughter and he's praying that the beautiful and helpless face of his child can coerce her. Her eyes are continually darting back and forth and he needs to continue his persuasion because she's breaking.

"I'm an author." He blurts getting her attention.

She smirks and he hopes that means good news. "I know who you are. I've read your books. My mom loved them." Something flickers across her eyes at the mention of her mom, and he'll get that story later, but not now. Right now, he needs to persuade, not push.

"Then you know full and well that I could pay you. I have connections, I could get you whatever you wanted. Just," he breathes again "just please don't leave." His voice breaks and he should probably be ashamed, but honestly, he'd grovel on get on his knees if that meant she'd stay.

"Well," she begins "I am looking for a place to stay. You got a spare room?"

"Sure!" He shouts then lowers his voice when his little girl squirms. "Sure, I've got a spare room. Right next to her nursery."

She mulls it over and he's begging silently as she considers. "Alright," he begins to celebrate when she speaks again "but just to be clear, I'm not doing this for you or the spare room," she glances down at his daughter adoringly "I'm ding it for her." And the warm feeling has now consumed because this woman who has helped his daughter actually cares for her. "I don't know how, but she's managed to make me fall in love with her in the half and hour I've known her."

He smiles because she's not the only one who's fallen in love in the last thirty minutes and he's overwhelmed with the feelings he seems to have for this person who he only just met. Love at first sight is no joke.

"So, considering it's 1 am, she should sleep until morning. If not, try singing the song to her again. I can come by tomorrow with some of my things and bring the rest after work."

"Okay, great. That's amazing. Sounds really amazing." She nods and helps him out of the store and into his vehicle. He drops her home and she gets out before he remembers something. "Wait! I don't know your name!" She turns back and gives him a smile and he'll never get sick of this warm feeling.

"It's Kate. Kate Beckett."

"Rick Castle."

"I know." And his savior disappears into her house.

* * *

**_Alrighty! That was just the prologue._**

**_Next chapter will start 5 months later_**

**_Hope you liked it, review if you want_**

**_Love Always, XOXOX_**


	2. Moving Matters & Makeshift Mothers

_**Okay so I know I said five months, but there were requests for the first week so I'll do that first. **_

**_Enjoy! _**

* * *

Big.

That was her first impression of his loft.

The words that followed were more along the lines of 'gorgeous' & 'homey'. She couldn't believe that he'd buy such a large house for just him and his daughter, then again, the girl had to have a mother. She had to remember to ask him about that.

"Hey." His silky baritone voice drifted to her from what she now saw was the kitchen. There he sat. Richard Castle, her favorite mystery writer, sat there with an unshaven face and his daughter drinking a bottle. "The key worked."

He'd given her a key earlier in the morning when she brought her suitcase. The warm feeling inside of him returned when their finger tips brushed as he passed her the key. His little girl had been crying again as they made the exchange and she didn't hesitate to work her magic once again and his baby was happily cooing in seconds.

There's a part of him that wants to believe she'll magically fall for him as hard as she's fallen for his daughter, but he knows that isn't possible. For now, though, he's able to look past his affection for the safety & care of his daughter.

"She asleep?" Kate asks as she makes her way to her new psuedo family. She has yet to uncover the mystery behind the author, but she can't deny that his little girl has her heart. Gift wrapped and tied with a giant bow.

"Yeah!" He breathes excitedly because hs gaurdian angel wasn't there that time. He'd brought his girl peace all on his own and that in itself deserves a victory lap. "That 'rub the tummy, pat the back' thing? Perfection. She was out within seconds."

She nods and it's awkward, but so is this entire situation, so she won't apologize for it. There are so many thoughts, so many questions circling her head and she can't control herself right, which is why she doesn't freak when she blurts "where's her mother?"

She doesn't freak, but she will back track because his muscles tense and what the hell did she just do? "I'm sorry. I'm being intrusive. You don't have to-"

"Dead."

"Excuse me?" She squeaks out because she can not be hearing this right. Did he just say?

"Her mother's dead. She uh," he gives a pained chuckle and damn she's really stepped in it this time "she died in a plane crash a week after Alexis was born. I know what you're thinking. 'What the hell was a woman who just had a baby doing on a flight?'." She waits for a response because yes, that's exactly what she was thinking, word for word.

"What could I say? Meredith was an actor and," he takes a rueful look at his little bundle "she always put her career before her family."

Wow.

There's really nothing else to say. She assumed vacation, business trip, hell even rehab would have been better. Anything would have been better than this beautiful little girl being motherless. Trust her, she knows the feeling. Their damaged. So is she and yet she hasn't felt like this since her Mom. She feels like she belongs.

"You know, I look at her sometimes and I see her Mom. Despite what we told anyone, we split before Alexis was born. The pregnancy took quite a toll on us. Just before she left, I was so sure I'd never forget her and now," she doesn't know when she's lost control of her body, but her hand is entwined with his, giving him the strength she pretends to have, and it's too late to draw back.

He fuels himself on the warmth and stability of her hand. "And now I look at her and I don't know whether to be happy or sad. Angry or nostalgic."

"Happy." She blurts and he eyes don't meet with his, but she's telling him things, giving him his answer with her hand.

"Huh?"

"Happy." She takes her chance a steals the girl from him then sits beside him so they can both marvel at her. "You can not look at this angellic little face and be anything but happy." They catch each other's eyes and calling it a spark would be an insult. More like a lightning bolt, an high voltage jolt of something begging to break free.

But Alexis yawns. She yawns and Rick reaches out for her tiny hand. She fists her hand around his finger at the same time that she snuggles into Kate's chest. Once she's settled, her face relaxes peacefully and none of them can quite comprehend how, but they'll be fine.

Together.

* * *

_**So there ya go. **_

_**It's not the first week, but just a bit of character development. **_

_**Love Always, XOXOX**_


	3. News and Names

_**Sorry for the delay guys. I got a bit sidetracked with some editing, but don't fret.**_

_**I'm Here! LOL note there is a 5 month time jump people. If you don't, you'll be confused and... wait for it... LOST! hahahaha...**_

_**I'm so lame. **__**Anyway**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

Kate walked out from the bed room and into the kitchen, stretching out her sore muscles. She checked the watch on her wrist.

6:00

Time to get up and start Alexis' routine. Kate ascended the steps and followed her route to the the nursery. She passed the guest bed room on the way. She looked in and smiled, suddenly feeling nostalgic. This room hasn't had use in months and the dust and extra boxes are just proof of that. She continued on her trek of the familiar hall until she reached the nursery. The warm green welcomed her and the lilac flowers painted on the wall captured her attention. She'd convinced Rick to dump the hideous powder puff pink it once was and go with a more soothing color. She walked over to the crib where she found the rambunctious red head already happily gurgling and making baby sounds. Those blue eyes always captivated her. No matter what she was doing, if she saw those eyes, she couldn't look away.

"Hey there sweet girl." Kate drawled happily as she picked Alexis up. The child squealed excitedly just as she always did when Kate was around. "You ready for some breakfast?" The girl blew a spit bubble and kicked her feet which Kate took as a yes and went to the kitchen. Once there, she placed the girl in her high bright purple high chair and went to the fridge to receive their breakfast. Kate grabbed some waffles from the freezer and threw them into the toaster, then she grabbed some mashed strawberry and banana and brought it to Alexis.

"Look what I brought. It's your favorite!" Alexis laughed and ate heartily as Kate fed her. The woman was always surprised at how neat Alexis could be. Whenever she ate, she never made a mess like most children. Kate wiped the little that did spill of of the girl's face then went to get fruit to add to her waffles. While bent over in the fridge trying to decide for strawberries or blackberries, Kate felt two arms slip around her. The familiar warmth and strength that she's become accustom to now envelopes her and it brings her an amazing sense of security.

"You started our morning routine without me?" The childish pout in his voice counter acts the wonderful things he's doing to her neck and she finds herself at a loss for thing, this glorious thing that they started to weeks into her stay here has now blossomed into something she never thought she could have after her mother.

"Well, I wanted to let you sleep. I mean, I felt kinda bad for tiring you out last night like that." And she wasn't lying. Yesterday made 6 months since Alexis was born, 5 months for Kate, and after celebrating with Alexis, they thoroughly celebrated with each other. "Just figured you could use the extra hour."

"Nah, I'd much rather spend the morning with my favorite girls." He kisses her and goes to his daughter, picking her up and kissing her too. "And you had strawberry banana?"

"How did you even know that?" She asks incredulously. She really shouldn't be surprised though. The man is quite observant.

"You missed a spot on her lip. I could taste." He says as though it's nothing and she should have known. Tsk tsk. Rookie mistake. Speaking of...

"I also started early because today's my last day as a uniform. Tomorrow I start as a detective!" She let's out a squeal and Alexis squeals also just to be apart of whatever is happening around her. Kate grabs her from Rick and spins her around. "That's right little one! Can you say detective?"

"Nuh uh, no pressuring her. She'll speak in her own time." Rick says around a mouthful of waffles. She sits Alexis back in her chair and places some strawberries on the tray in front of her.

"Oh please, your just banking on her saying 'Daddy' first." He tries to protest, but she cuts him off. "Don't even say your not. I heard you coaxing her the other night when you just _had _to give her a bath." He blushes slightly and knows he's caught. The little girl smiles at her father and then peers at Kate who's standing beside her.

Neither of them know exactly when it happens. To this day, if asked, they'll swear it was all a blur. It was like one getting their training wheels off, only to find themselves going down a hill fast with no brakes. Like a person about to get into a car crash and there's nothing to do except watch on and hope to God when the smoke clear and the dust settles, you'll be okay and your life won't change or be altered horribly. At that exact moment is when the little girl that they are both madly love with says something that has the possibility to ruin everything.

"Momma?" Both Kate and Rick bring wide eyes to the little girl as she offers a strawberry to the older woman. There's a catalyst of feelings coursing through them and neither one of them know which one to focus on. Alexis, seeing as no one answers her, goes pick to her strawberries, delightfully unaware that the two people she depends on most in the world are currently in an emotional limbo of sorts. Their eyes meet each other and their conversation is conveyed through their now dilated pupils.

"Kate..." He trails off because he wants to comfort her, wants to say something that will stop her from packing her up and exiting their life just as quick as she entered, but truth be told be told, he has _no _idea what to say. And judging by her next sentence, neither does she.

"I have work." She dashes off and he wants to run after her, but his little girl is still right there. He runs upstairs with his baby and gets her dressed for their day, trying to beat Kate so they can talk, but by the time they make it back downstairs, she's closing the door without so much as a 'goodbye'.

* * *

The entire day their minds are both elsewhere. Alexis' blue eyes can only do so much as far as saving Rick from sulking in his office all day. No meetings were attended, no chapters were written. Alexis spent most of the day with her babysitter because his pouty demeanor is not what she needs around her right now.

There are no body drops and Kate finds herself feeling guilty for wishing for death. Instead, she throws herself into paperwork. She completes her two stacks and even some for one of the other detectives. By the time she leaves (or rather was pleaded with, threatened, and almost forcibly removed) it's 9:00 and she's sure Alexis is asleep now. Perfect time for her to talk to Castle alone.

* * *

He's sitting on the couch, dozing with his little girl in his arms, when he hears the sound of keys in the door.

She's home.

He waits until she's rid herself of bag, shoes, & coat before he greets her. "Hey." She brings her face to meet his eyes and there are those blue eyes again, sending her into a free fall and she momentarily forgets about the bombshell that dropped this morning, but looking into his arms brings it all back.

"She asleep?"

"Yeah, just went." He says and wraps an arm around her as she plops next to him and pats the girl's hair down. "You know, it's gonna happen again." He says and of course that's clear. Se's been trying to deny it all day, but she's not stupid. She came to her decision somewhere around 7 pm and if he'll stop talking, she can tell him, but months of experience tells her that once you get a Castle talking, you won't get them to stop. "Her mom's gone and your all she knows. It's a natural reflex." Every time she tries to interrupt he adds something else in and she loves his mouth, but if he could just shut it for a bit.

"Rick!" She finally gets him to stop and takes the small victory as it comes. "I know. I thought about this a _lot _at work and," she breathes deeply for the decision she's about to make and hopes it's the right one "I'm okay with it. I love Alexis with everything in me and I do consider her a daughter. I know what it's it's like not having a mother. I would never want anyone to go through that." Her eyes glaze over at the mention of her mother and he strokes her hand in comfort, remembering all the stories, good and bad, that she's told him about her mom. "So... yeah." She finishes lamely and looks down at the little girl.

Her little girl.

"I love you." He blurts and it's not how he wanted it to be. It's not at an expensive restaurant with thousand dollar wine. It's not a beach set at sunset. It's not after a night of passionate love making while cuddling in bed. Yet, it's the perfect moment for them. The unorthodox lifestyle their leading is probably going to end them all up in therapy at some point, but it doesn't matter anymore because they have each other and nothing else matters.

"I love you too." She beams at him and she's leaning in to kiss him when Alexis stirs.

"Momma." She calls while reaching for Kate and she happily receives the sleepy girl.

"That's right, sweet girl. Momma's here."

* * *

_**And then she ducked under the table and waited for reviews!**_

_**Lol seriously though I hope you guys enjoy!**_

_**Remember the time jump!**_

_**Love Always, XOXOX**_


	4. Flus and Forever

_**I kinda couldn't keep this chapter in**_

_**I tried to hold off, but I REALLY wanted to post so...**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

"Ma!" Kate removes her hand from her clammy head and groans. The swirling feeling in her stomach has momentarily settled and she's to weak to puke, but if she doesn't go now, she'll suffer for it later. Her head moves slowly from where it was laid on the counter top and immediately the fatigue hits her. her eyes land on the bumbling red head that's constantly calling for her, but this stomach flu is really beating her down and she has no energy left.

Rick is at a meeting for the latest Derrick Storm book and she has time off, so she offered to watch Alexis, but now she;s halfway regretting it because the child has been sitting in the high chair for an hour and a half now and she's on the brink of fussy. He said he'd be home at 9:00 and it's... 8:27. Good. She can handle that. only 33 more minutes. _Come on Kate. Pull it together! _

She's able to pull herself long enough to run to the bathroom. After her stomach is completely emptied, she comes back to her little girl. There's another strange feeling in her stomach and she doesn't know whether it's the sickness or the fact that she now has a daughter, but she ignores it anyway.

"Momma! Ma, mamamamama ma mo mama ma muh muh muh muh mama!" Alexis babbles on and although she'll never get tired of that word, she would rather the girl not wear it out while it's still knew. She only just said it two days ago! But Kate just smiles at Alexis and goes to the fridge. Their out of strawberry banana, so she takes out whole strawberries and whole bananas and drops them into the blender. Just pressing the button and holding the lead feels like running a marathon right now and the sight of the blended food makes her stomach churn. She's thankful there's nothing in there.

Once the food is done, she drains it into a bowl and goes to feed Alexis. The girl happily eats, yet spills some while trying to shout her new word: Mama! After she gets her baby cleaned, she changes her into a new onesie and places her in the bouncer. Kate lounges on the couch while Alexis bounces happily and she feels a bit better. She looks at the clock and sees that it's 8:50. Ten minutes and she'll be able to sleep. She feels herself dozing so she gets up and sits on the floor in front of Alexis. She watches the girl play and smile her wide gummy smile. The girl giggles and that brings back sweet memories for Kate. The first time she heard Alexis' laugh was one of their happiest days.

She and Rick had just began dating and had... consummated the relationship the night before. The morning after, they were caught up in each other on the kitchen and Alexis had smiled and then giggled uncontrollably. Rick and Kate were shocked thoroughly, but then became excited and took every chance to make her laugh again. Obviously, Rick was better, but Kate had her moments and the wide smile her little girl gave her always melted her heart. It was always those blue eyes...

Uh oh. Kate became overly clammy and started feeling as though she would faint. She peered at the clock again and saw it was 9:00. Rick would be here any moment! She just had to keep her... eyes... op... . It was too late. She blacked out. Just before her head met the ground, she heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the hall.

Meanwhile, in the hallway, Rick stopped and smiled at the house. His home. He, Alexis, and hopefully soon, Kate's home. With a giddy step, he thrust his keys in the door and stepped through. He dropped his bags, including the gift bag for Kate and Alexis. He really loved splurging on his girls. Any chance he could surprise them and make them smile was a chance he wanted to take. His meeting had been boring and torturous and, right now, he just needs a snuggle from his family. _His family. _

Best. Phrase. Ever.

Rick walks further into the house and sees Kate's feet poking out by the couch and Alexis' back to him in the bouncer. He smiles and heads over to where they are. "Hey pretty gi-" Rick's sentence cuts off as he sees his beautiful girlfriend, whom he's pretty sure is the love of his life, sprawled out on the floor in front of Alexis. She's pale, her forehead is sweaty and she's unconscious. She looks like a ghost that just came from the gym. He crouches down to her and checks her pulse. It's fair, but not as strong as it usually is. He picks Alexis up and calls down to the doorman.

Eduardo comes up immediately and Castle hands him Alexis to put in the car. He then picks Kate up, wraps her in a blanket and carries her to his car. Rick rushes to the ER and once their she's rushed off to the back. He sits there for what seems like weeks but is only minutes, waiting for news. His baby girl starts to fuss and he knows she senses something wrong so he makes her giggle then sings her a lullaby, trying to soothe her. It works and she quickly falls asleep and curls into the cradle of his arms.

Sitting there, in the white and blue room of the ER waiting station, he reflects in his life. Reflects on why everything good that happens to him has to be savagely ripped away. His mother, Kyra, Meredith, and now...

No. No this won't happen again. Kate is everything to him and so is Alexis. They are constants in his life and he won't give them up. Kate will be okay and as he looks down at his sleeping little girl, he is reminded of the night he met Kate. She came to his rescue, saved his little girl and made both their lives better. She won't leave now. She can't. They still need her. They will always need her. He's pulled from his thoughts by four words that could determine the rest of he and his little girl's life.

"Family of Katherine Beckett."

* * *

**_Honestly..._**

**_I have no words for this chapter so... yeah._**

**_Love Always, XOXOX_**


	5. Pain and Proposals

_**To the person who PMed me asking if Kate was going to die, that would be a big fat**_

_**NO!**_

_**That would ruin the story plus it wouldn't make sense! Jeez I'm not that cruel and morbid!**_

_**Lol sorry for the rant. That one just caught me off guard. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

"Family of Katherine Beckett?"

Rick's hazed state lifts when he hears that. Alexis has no idea what's going on, but her confused and tear stained face turns up as she hears the familiar name and her Dad springs out of his seat, taking her with him. Rick walks to the doctor with fervor and halts, just barely knocking the five foot scrawny physician to the floor.

For a second the man stands intimidated by Rick's size and stature. The man's nostrils flair with irritation and impatience and surprisingly, even his daughter is giving him the stink eye. Medical school hasn't prepared him for this and there are things he wants to do in life that he won't get to if he doesn't spit out the results for Katherine Beckett. For a second, just a second, the doctor's mouth quirks into a smile at how loved this woman has to be. He didn't see a wedding ring, but there's no way this man isn't a devoted husband. He must at least be a fiance. At least.

Rick is ready to place his baby down and pummel this man for information about Kate when he sees the small man crack a smile. Is this some sort of sick joke to him? Making someone's family wait for the life or death results they so urgently need? She has people depending on her and they need to know how she is, yet this man is insistent on toying with the situation, prolonging the results like a bad episode of American Idol.

"Mr..."

"Castle."

"Right, , I can assure Katherine Beckett is fine. She had a slight bout of food poisoning which caused a nasty case of appendicitis. Her appendix was removed and you'll be able to get her home in two, three days tops."

Rick breathes a sigh of relief. "Can we see her now?" The doctor nods and by the time he gets the room number out of his mouth, Rick is speeding down the hall.

He stops once he reaches her door and takes a breath, finally assessing the situation. Kate is fine. She's alive and healthy, sorta. She's coming home with them and soon, they'll be back to normal. He quickly glances down at his baby girl who is still doe eyed and confused and seeing this gives him the final push to enter her room. They walk in and the lights are dimmed very low, due to the fact that she is most likely sleeping. Once rounding the bed, he turns Alexis to see her and immediately regrets it as she lets out a high pitched "Momma!" that echoes around the room.

As of some other worldly miracle, not even heavy doses of sedatives and drugs can hold Kate under when her baby needs her. Her eyes blink open and she peers around confused before her eyes land on her little girl and her... whatever he is and her heart immediately smiles. The little girl hurriedly scrambles out of Rick's arms and crawls into bed with Kate.

"Alexis! Don't-"

"No, no. S'okay. Feels good." She slurs as the girl snuggles into her side. Rick gives them both a lazy smile and thanks God once again that they're all alive and safe and together. She's drifting off to sleep when she hears him speak.

"When I came in," he says shakily "when I saw you passed out and had to rush you to the hospital... it felt so much like Meredith all over again. Like I was being left alone with this little girl that I have," he lets out a humorless chuckle "yet to figure out." She somehow finds the strength to reach for his hand and he picks up the slack, squeezing her small one in his.

"Before, it was only about keeping you there for the purpose of Alexis. To help her, to- to help us. But now? Now we've grown so attached, both of us, that losing you is no longer an option." He breathes deeply and then lets it out. "I love you Katherine Beckett and don't ever see myself letting you go."

Her eyes tear as she unconsciously wraps her arm tighter around Alexis. The sedatives are pulling her stronger under and she barely has time to slip out the words before she's going completely under.

"Marry me."

Rick is... surprised would be a gross understatement. She through him for a loop and had she said it maybe two days earlier, he would've been elated. But that's not how things went. She said it under a drug induced haze while in the hospital, after he'd said he loved her and she most likely wouldn't remember it by tomorrow.

So, he sits. He marvels at this woman and the enchantment she has over both him and his daughter. How cohesive she has become into their little tight knit family. The mother she's become to his baby girl, their baby girl, giving her a sense of normalcy and stability that children need. So, yes he's in love with this woman and yes he would marry her in a heart beat. But for now- for now, they are just them.

Not broken, just slightly damaged, but completely okay.

* * *

_**Yay! New chapter.**_

_**That's all I have to say so...**_

_**Love Always, XOXOX**_


	6. Planning & Parents

_**Sorry it's been so long my lovelies. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

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"Mama! Look!" Kate's eyes fluttered open as she sat up and saw her little blue eyed baby looking up at her. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up. Once she did, she noticed there was a breakfast tray sitting on the bed. It was empty, but she heard clattering in the kitchen, letting her know that Rick was probably setting everything up. Her suspicions were confirmed when he walked in with a smaller tray with pancakes on them, along with bacon and three cups.

"Ugh, Lex you were supposed to wait for me to get everything set up!" He whined and they both laughed at his pout. He placed the food on top of the breakfast tray and then grabbed Alexis. The girl giggled as they both slipped in bed with Kate and began eating. Alexis babbled to them and they smiled down at her. They had no idea what she was saying other then "Ma" "Daddy" and "juice", but enjoyed listening to her anyway.

She definitely got her story telling abilities from her Dad. She talked animatedly and her eyes displayed how serious or surprising or funny something was supposed to be. Much like Kate, she talked with her hands and like making finger puppets and doing motions, making her story come alive. They were glad for that because they could almost follow along.

Once they're breakfast was done, Rick cleaned up the tray while Alexis finished her story for Kate. He rinsed up the dishes and brought Alexis an outfit for the day. Kate had off of work and they planned to spend a full day with Alexis. When he entered their room, he chuckled to himself. They had gone back to sleep and Kate was snuggled in the middle of the bed with Alexis tucked into her. Rick looked at the clock and noticed it was only 7 am. He climbed into bed and snuggled up with them, then set the alarm for ten o'clock.

Once they had woken back up, Kate and Alexis took a bath together while Rick set up an extravagant pillow fort. They spent their entire day lounging around and watching movies. When Alexis fell asleep, Rick and Kate began planning for her birthday party. Neither of them could believe that their little girl was turning one. Sometimes she seemed older than that, but most times, she was still the tiny 3 month old that brought them together.

"Okay, so we have a location, decorations, the cake, gifts, now all we need is to send out invitations." Kate said, checking things of her list.

"Alright, well, we have to invite Andy and Audrey from across the hall." He wrote their names down.

"Andy and Audrey, the twins she met at the park?" He adds her suggestion. "Also, the kids from the play center downtown."

"Yeah." He wrote down all the names and handed it to her. She looked it over and scribbled one out then handed it back.

"Why is Devon excluded?"

"Because, Castle, the kid is a brat. He pulls her hair, dumps his milk on her, and he's the only four year old in her class. He's a bully." Rick look surprised at how much Kate knew about this boy. She shrugged. "She's getting better at storytelling." She says and he smiles at that.

"Yeah, but I still don't think it's be right to just not invite him."

"What if I told you his Dad always hits on me?" She says and watches as his eyes widen. He takes the list and scribbles Devon's name out totally until he makes a hole in the paper.

"Devon who?" He says and she giggles.

"Oh, also, your Mom called. She said she wants to stop by the party." Kate says as she fills out invitations. She looks up when his pen falls to the floor and he springs up and begins pacing. "What's wrong?"

"How the hell did she get our number? What did you tell her? Oh, God, Kate please tell me you didn't tell her where we lived."

She stutters out a response. "I- I did, but I figured it'd be okay, I mean she's your mom. Alexis is her granddaughter-"

"NO! She's not apart of her life, of our life. She made her choice a long time ago to leave and she can't just expect to waltz back in like nothing ever changed!" He shouted and notice Kate flinch away. He sighed deeply and dropped onto the couch. She sat beside him and rubbed his back slowly.

"Babe, talk to me. What's wrong?"

She'll have to find out sooner or later he tells himself and begins speaking. "My mother was the one who set Meredith and I up. She was over the moon when she found out we were getting married and having Alexis. My life sucked as soon as I proposed to her, but my mother never saw the bad in Meredith. When she died, my mother blamed me. She said if I had done my duty as a man, as a husband, she never would have left and she'd still be alive." Kate's heart broke at every word he uttered and she started to feel some resentment for the woman. How dare she make him feel this way? She was his mother, he needed her and she only made things worse.

"Rick, none of that matters anymore. She missed out on a life with a wonderful son and granddaughter and no matter what happens," she looks into his eyes "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." He smiles and kisses her. She kisses him and pours out the feelings that she has for him. Before anything goes too far, there is a knock on the door. Rick leaves her on the couch and with a slightly foggy brain, he answers the door, only to have his heart crushed in two nanoseconds.

"Hello Richard."

"Hello Mother."

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_**Holy shizzle, even I didn't see that coming! Lol**_

_**Hope this was good enough for you guys**_

_**Love Always, XOXOX**_


	7. Heartache & Heart Breaks

_**Time for the confrontation!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

They stand there for a moment, none of them knowing what to do or say next. Martha stands still in the hall, not knowing what to bring up first. Rick tries to gather words to give to the woman he swore he'd never talk to again. Kate debated within herself, wondering if she was intruding on a private family moment. After a moment more, she realizes that she is family. If anything, this woman was the intruder in their home. She mustered up courage and grabbed the situation by the reigns.

"Martha, I'm Kate. We spoke on the phone?" She puts on her best 'doting-wife-and-mother' face. Even in her resentment, she can't help but want his mother's opinion.

Martha steps in slowly as Kate joins Rick's side, encouraging him & giving him strength. She's going to stay by his side no matter what. "Hello... Katherine, I assume?" She sees the woman begin to protest and goes to explain, but Rick seems to find his voice.

"She refuses to call anyone by anything other than their full name. It's a theater thing."

Kate nods and begins to speak, but a shrill squeak from the baby monitor lets her know that her little ball of fire is restless. She uses the excuse to leave them to talk. Throwing an 'I'll be right back' over her shoulder as she ascends the stairs.

Rick once again faces his mother. "So... long time no see."

"I want to be apart if her life, your life, if you'll let me." Huh, guess there was no beating around the bush.

"Mother, what happened hurt me and I'd rather never talk to you again, but Kate says I should give you a chance, so I can try. As far as Alexis is concerned, Kate and I will have to discuss that."

"And Kate is who? The woman upstairs? Who is she to make decisions?" There it is, the judgmental behavior he had been waiting for.

"She just so happens to be my girlfriend of 7 months and Alexis'... mother." He watches the shock form on her face. It's only there for about ten seconds before she's piling on the anger and confusion.

"Alexis' _mother,_ your wife, died almost a year ago. Whoever that women is you have trying to replace her is nowhere near the woman Meredith was." Now he's fuming.

"You don't even know her! You have been here all of, what, two seconds? Yet, already, your passing judgments. Alexis is too young to even comprehend what death means! Kate is all she knows and they both love each other. Doesn't that count as a parent. Someone who loves you? Someone who is there to take care of you anytime you need them? Then again, how would you know?"

"Don't you dare go there with me. She wasn't just your partner or Alexis' mother, she was a friend, a mentee. If you think for a second that your the only one that lost someone that day, your mistaken."

"This is exactly why I didn't want you here. All of our lives would be so much happier if we had just left this all alone." He mumbles and turns away from her. The past 7 months have been glorious and he doesn't even know why he thought to try with this woman. He doesn't know when she changed. She used to be a good mother, loving and caring. That all changed when Meredith came along.

"Look who's awake." They both snap their heads to the staircase where Kate is standing with a groggy Alexis in her arms. Her blue eyes glisten at the sight of her Dad and she smiles at him, but her mood shifts as she sees the stranger standing in the living room. The unfamiliar person sets her on edge and she whimpers and quickly turns her head into Kate's neck.

"Oh, she looks so much like her mother!" She smiles and Kate is glad that the hatred level as dropped in the room. That is, until she hears Martha speak again and her heart falls apart. "Her _real _mother." She won't cry. She won't cry. If this is how she wants to play things, Kate won't even stoop to her level. She sets the little girl down on wobbly legs and allows her to stand. The girl still clings to her leg and she has to encourage her. She nudges her knee and Alexis peers up at her, big blue eyes pouring out trust.

"Momma?" She questions and Kate's eyes tear up as she gives a small nod. Alexis slowly lets her hands fall from Kate and does her best to walk over to the strange woman. Martha watches her walk over. Her heart breaks at the sight, seeing as last time she saw her little girl, she was unborn. When Alexis reaches her, she stares up at her strangely. Martha reaches out for her and Alexis looks back to see if this is okay. She receives a stiff nod from her father and her mother just stares. Reluctantly she allows the woman to pick her up. Whoever this person is, she doesn't like her. There is a smell that doesn't smell right, too much color on her face and her voice is too loud, she is speaking too fast.

Kate can see her baby's discomfort from a mile away, can sense her tears welling up before anyone can. She wanted to give this a try, but she can't watch her sweet little baby cry at the hand of this cruel woman. Just as she suspected, Alexis fusses and Martha tries to soothe her, but it's no help. The woman releases her and Alexis has no time for steady walking. She speed crawls over to Kate then flings herself at her mother, longs for the familiar smells and sounds and looks of the woman she loves.

Kate wastes no time in hoisting her up and settling her down. Rick breaks out of his anger induced trance long enough to help in comforting his baby girl. He kisses her head and and rubs her back soothingly. She calms and begins to drift off into sleep. He looks up at Kate and he can tell. She is about to fall apart. Her eyes are clenched and pink from holding back tears, her skin paling by the minute and he can't help but be angry for at hid mother for causing his family, the only thing in the world he cares about, pain. He turns to yell at her again, but all he sees is the closed door and heel clacks outside of the door getting further and further away. She came in like a whirlwind and tore apart his family in an hour and now?

She's gone.

* * *

_**Sorry if it sucked. **_

_**That's all**_

_**Love Always, XOXOX**_


	8. Birthdays and Breakthroughs

_**So sorry you guys. I know I owe you like a thousand updates, but I was really busy. **_

_**Sorry again! **_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

_Happy Birthday to you!_

The crowd sung the final line of the song and everyone cheered as the birthday girl, with the help of her parents obviously, blew out her candles. It was an extremely eventful day and many of the parents were ready to leave, but every kept smiles plastered on their faces. They all genuinely laughed, however, when the small redhead dug her hand in the cake and mashed it on her face. Thankfully, Rick had predicted this and had a separate cake made for anyone else who wanted. Kate cleaned Alexis up as Rick helped his guests to cake. He looked at all the tired faces of the adults and smiled at them sympathetically. He was also exhausted. Their loft had been filled to the brim with screaming kids since 10 am and it was now going on 6 pm. He was ready to call it a night, send the kids home with goody bags, and snuggle up with his favorite two girls.

Kate, on the other hand, was thoroughly energized. For some reason, the screams and squeals of twenty little toddlers did something to her. On one hand it was a glimpse into what they had to look forward to with Alexis. Only two of the children were Alexis' age, the others ranging from 2-4, and she couldn't help but imagine Alexis at that age. On the other hand it was refreshing to see such innocence in one room. She knew that one day, these very same kids would lose the innocence they hold now, but she was glad to know the world wasn't all cruelty. She looked down at a very bubbly Alexis and smiled. Some parts of the world, specifically her world, were close to perfection.

Rick finished handing out cake and noticed that some of the parents started to get antsy. He quickly gave them an out by announcing candy bags. Once the children had received their bags, many of the parents rushed to the door. Some didn't even properly place their jackets. He laughed at their anticipation. It had been a long day. Between costumes and games, aquarium visits and parent makeovers, both adult and child alike was exhausted. Rick looked over to where Kate and Alexis were playing with bubbles. Alexis giggled as Kate popped a bubble with her nose. Alexis then tried the same thing, effectively hitting a giant bubble with her tiny nose. Kate high-fived her in excitement and they both laughed. He smiled at them.

When Meredith died, despite their hatred for each other, he was devastated. Mostly for his little girl, knowing she'd never grow up with a mother. He didn't grow up with a father, and his mother supplied him with more than enough love, but he had always wondered, always dreamed and speculated and wished. No matter how much love he got, he always felt as though part of him was missing. He's glad his little girl never has to experience that. Sure, one do she'll find about her mother, but by then, she will already be Kate's daughter so fully and completely, she'll never have to worry about missing out.

Once all the children were shuffled out of the loft and most of the mess was clear, Rick joined Kate and Alexis on the couch. The little girl was dozing off and, even though she tried to hide it, so was Kate. He laughed as he plopped down next to his girlfriend as he her eyes popped open in surprise. She tried to look awake, but he knew she was drained just as much as he was. He wrapped his arm around her and nudged her, silently telling her to lay her head on his shoulder. She complied and laid Alexis across both their laps. They sat in silence and Rick began to doze off once he thought Kate was asleep.

"I want another one." He is not quite sure if he's more shocked that she is awake or at the sentence that just came out of her mouth, but either way he can't be sure it's something his imagination hasn't made up.

"Uh, what?"

She snuggles herself more firmly into his chest, uses his warmth to give her courage. "I want another one." And there it is again. "Not now, obviously, I mean Alexis is still young, but someday... yeah." He slowly shifts to look into her eyes, careful not to wake Alexis.

"Seriously? I mean, yeah sure, I would love to have kids with you, but is that really what you want?" He's asking for his own sanity. He's pretty sure she wouldn't have said it if it wasn't what she wanted.

"Cas, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." He laughs at how well they know each other. "Besides, it's not anything soon, just whenever you decide to man up and propose to me," she hits him playfully in the shoulder "and after we're officially married then... yeah."

He smiles, he's been doing that a lot lately, and kisses her like he's known her forever. "I love you."

Even though she's heard him say it before, each times is like the first time and she finds herself flustered. "I love you too."

After that, they pick their daughter up and move their snuggle party to the bedroom. Kate grabs pajamas for Alexis and for herself. Once everyone is fully clothed in their nightwear, the lights are turned off and they snuggle up in bed. Alexis lies between her two parents as they protectively wrap arms around her. Each of them snuggle closer to her and in result they snuggle closer to each other. The realization is fast and hits them like a whirlwind, but they are a family, a real family. All three of them at one time has had a broken, incomplete family, but now they are whole, together, and it's the best thing any of them could wish for.

* * *

Despite the fact that all of them were tired the night before, they all managed to wake up before nine. No one had eaten dinner last night so they woke up with an appetite. Naturally, Rick couldn't let his girls go hungry, so he whipped up the famous Castle breakfast: chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and eggs with fresh squeezed orange juice.

They sat down and ate together, passing stories and telling jokes. All of Alexis' stories were about her party and you could just barely make out what she was trying to say, but the way her eyes lit up as she told a new tale, or the same one with more enthusiasm, warmed both their hearts and they were all ears. He left Kate and Alexis giggling at the breakfast bar so he could get the morning paper. He smiled to himself as the giggles faded behind him. He opened the door expecting the paper.

What he found both excited and nauseated him.

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_**Because I refuse to just give you some random filler chapter**_

_**Ha ha. I know the reviews will be harsh but oh well**_

_**Love Always, XOXOX**_


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